Master Active Listening Skills with Your Personal Coach
Why Active Listening is Essential for Personal Growth
A large study revealed that the average person listens at only about 25% efficiency. We all need help to improve in this area. Here are some suggestions for better listening.
Listening is more than just hearing words; it is an active process that fosters understanding, connection, and meaningful dialogue. Many of us assume we are good listeners, yet we often engage in conversations with preconceived notions, distractions, or an urge to respond rather than truly understand. Mastering the skill of listening requires intention, discipline, and practice.
Below is a structured approach to developing strong listening skills, to learn more contact your personal coach Dr. Leona Phillips PhD:
High-Level Guide for Active Listening
- SET YOUR INTENTION TO LISTEN – Approach the conversation with the goal of fully understanding the other person.
- SUSPEND JUDGMENT – Keep an open mind and resist making premature assumptions.
- GIVE YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION – Remove distractions and show engagement through body language and responsiveness.
- WAIT TO ASK QUESTIONS – Ask only when necessary to clarify, not to direct or shift the conversation.
- REFLECT BACK WHAT YOU HAVE HEARD – Summarize or rephrase to confirm your understanding and provide an opportunity for the speaker to elaborate.
In-Depth Guide and Action Items
1. Set Your Intention to Truly Hear the Person
- Releasing the need to convince or persuade – Do not enter the conversation with an agenda to change the speaker's perspective.
- Avoiding the impulse to explain or justify – Resist the urge to interject with explanations, counterpoints, or personal experiences.
- Not focusing on just 'getting through' the conversation – Conversations are opportunities for insight and connection, not just items on a checklist.
- Detaching from a specific outcome – True listening means being open to whatever unfolds, rather than steering the conversation toward a predetermined conclusion.
- Practicing silence – Allow the speaker to fully express themselves without interruption. Moments of silence provide space for deeper thought and reflection.
2. Suspend Judgment
- Avoid assuming you already know what they mean – People's thoughts and emotions are complex. Even if a topic seems familiar, listen as if you are hearing it for the first time.
- Engage with curiosity rather than conclusion – Instead of mentally formulating responses or judging the validity of statements, approach the conversation with a genuine desire to understand.
- Use compassion – Consider the speaker's perspective, emotions, and experiences. Compassionate listening fosters trust and deeper connections.
3. Give Your Undivided Attention
- Maintain natural eye contact – Too little eye contact may suggest disinterest, while too much may feel intrusive. Aim for a comfortable balance.
- Adopt open body language – Uncrossed arms, a slight forward lean, and relaxed posture signal attentiveness and receptivity.
- Eliminate distractions – Put away your phone, turn off notifications, and ensure your environment is conducive to focused conversation.
- Demonstrate engagement through verbal and nonverbal cues – Nods, brief affirmations like "I see" or "That makes sense," and subtle facial expressions reassure the speaker that they are being heard.
4. Wait to Ask Questions
- Ask only when clarity is needed – Questions should serve the purpose of deepening understanding rather than redirecting the conversation.
- Avoid using questions to insert your viewpoint – Questions should not be disguised statements, such as "Don't you think it would be better if…?" Instead, they should genuinely seek to clarify what the speaker is communicating.
5. Reflect Back What You Have Heard
- Restate key points in your own words – Saying, "So what I hear you saying is…" or "It sounds like you feel…" helps validate the speaker's message.
- Invite clarification – Giving the speaker a chance to refine or correct your understanding prevents misinterpretation.
- Encourage elaboration if needed – Sometimes, reflection prompts deeper insights from the speaker, allowing them to articulate their thoughts with greater clarity.
Ready to Master These Skills with Your Personal Coach?
Leona is a "well-seasoned" personal coach who wishes to share her skills and wisdom. Through her work and life challenges, she learned the value of good listening as a key to success. Please browse the services on this website to learn how she can help you reach your full potential. She also can help your team soar to new heights.
Take the Next Step in Your Personal Development
Ready to put these active listening skills into practice with expert guidance? Contact your personal coach today:
- Phone: (831) 600-0482
- Email: lplistens@gmail.com
- Location: Serving Capitola, Santa Cruz, and surrounding California communities